Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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