ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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