College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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