he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wear drunk well.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
