there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
