I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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