and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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