You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
