Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize