There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
