where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is the high leading the old right now
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
