Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
