hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
