wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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