i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
