I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
