so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
