I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Randomize
