Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I wish you could order shots online.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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