Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
