Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
