You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
