And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
