I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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