how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
