dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
