Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
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We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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