its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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