you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
