I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
