My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
