I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
