i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
