i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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