I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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