Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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