Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
