You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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