I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
