I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
