I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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