Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
