ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
