I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
