is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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