I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize