okay pat passed out under dana's car
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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