We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
