he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
