wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we made out on top of his cat.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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