i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Text me some of your sweat
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