Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't put those talents on a resume
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
