Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
