She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
