Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
