I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
