we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
