U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
