Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
