so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize