i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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