R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
